拥有希望的遗憾。。

打了个电话，她接了。对话的前一秒，才发现依然了解，依然心重。以前的感觉，依然还在。听了她的声音，我得安了心。

回想那见面的第一天，遇见可爱的脸孔。回想每一次聊天，她那灿烂的喜悦。回想随她等巴士，那小雨中的温暖。 回想当天她牵着我的手，那紧张的心。回想那暗恋的寂寞，才发现比他晚了。。回想在商场狂追版寻找，在人群中不见了她。回想步行回家，在高速公路走了3小时。。

她对我说了不能常常接我电话的原因。
她接受我的关心，已减少了我需多遗憾。。

遗憾那时每对你说明，遗憾我不懂处理感情，遗憾。。当时没把你抱紧。。

往往那一瞬间的希望，都来得不合时，可能是我给自己的安慰。。
“我依然喜欢你。。” 我对她说了。。 仿佛我听见了她的微笑，可能是我的多心。。
身在其中，我明白了，得不到的爱，才是最刻骨铭心的爱。

我从来不强求些什么，可能如果有一天，如果在一次，我一定会把这希望紧紧地抱着，不要再有遗憾了。。

如果在一次。。。

牵挂著你是那颗我的心
飘呀飘地在你面前捉摸不定
牵挂著你是那份我的情
吹呀吹到你的眼前我的心
我不愿看到你那湿润的眼睛
怕我会忍不住疼你怕你伤心
我不愿听见你说寂寞的声音
怕我会忍不住对你说我的真感情
牵挂著你是那双我的手
越过你的长发越过你心窝
牵挂著你是那份我的温柔
飞过你的肩膀飞过你的手
我不愿看见你独自离去的身影
怕我会忍不住牵你手将你带走
我不愿看到你依依不舍的表情
怕我又会忍不住再停留怕你难过
你像盛开花朵绽放整个天空
温暖著我将我拥抱在你的怀中
不愿承认是我最深情的脆弱
能否与你一生守候
你像盛开花朵绽放整个天空
温暖著我将我拥抱在你的怀中
不愿承认是我最深情的脆弱
悲伤的我从此漂流
舍不得你是那颗我的心
飘呀飘地在你面前捉摸不定
舍不得你是那份我的情
而徘徊在你面前属於你的我
爱你

曲名：牵挂 歌手：伍佰

The Legendary M29!!

Surprise for the whole Room 28. Note, I am sleeping in this room for 2 days.

Production from : Tan XX and Ong XX.
Friendly support: From all smokers from M29.
Sponsor company: British American Tobacco Company and others.

Please do not drink while you are reading this. Or eat by the way.



Welcome to the door brothers.



Made up by the over due Fisher, Tex, June and Winston.


LoLx, this will be the 3D version.




The Casino Royal~



All of the ingredient, the best way of recycling.



The legendary window No 1.


The legendary window of the year. No.2


All along the wall.. Tan:" Wei! I though they all coming back to help?"
Ong:" I called liao.. Dunno them..."
Tan:" @#$%^&.."


The highest level of cigarette sticking.... Guess what, it is on top of the roof wall. XD


The worst of all... Before the last day, the room is fuck up by super smell made up from Ribenna plus 100plus, Pepsi with chili sos, oil, rotten eggs ( put a hole at the egg and put in salt water and put under the sun for one day ). The television we use to have is on water wet condition and stick in the table. Rubbish everyway, and the fan beside Johnson bed fell down on the last day. Luckily. The cleaner may call the polices once they find out. Even Tan, TJ, and me can't stand 1 second of the smell there... P.S .... Johnson.. remember the can of pin ball you have... Is all on the floor.. hope none of the cleaner fall down.. XD

Tan, is the water still on?......

XD

TO all M29.. The END>>>

See you guys again. Thank you.

The Mirror.

Starting from the day I choose to be, facts that I can't have everything in both hands. It was heavy and too heavy in deep. Everytime I look into the mirror, to prove I am still alive with the choices I made. And as you said reality is more important.

But doesn't mean I gave up. It is the way whether things are going with me, or not.

All the blames and hard feelings, I couldn't help it. But why the one once use to smile turn on me with the black heart? Keeping those feelings ever help. But they rather keep than telling to my face when it is able to.

Fair enough, not everything have to be say to let others understand, even if they do.

The world is turning, and things do change. But my heart, do not, for the things necessary of course, without force. Funny that people will actually blame for nothing to someone who care.

This is not what it seems, my friend. Friends do know. We use to say that remember? How long you still wanna hold on to it? Not slapping on my face? Go ahead.

But does it really needed? What can be change? Relax, I am cool. Or do you think things are really what you think that way. Is it? Maybe... who knows.

I believe that we use our heart even on the first day we intro our names. I do. I have done nothing to hurt, but rather giving care from a far far place where we couldn't even meet.

Even now I am kinda alone here.. Now. So? What the hell for waking up in the midnight writing something which comes to my head for damn. Because I still care and I do believe the next time we meet, the heart is still there; because I still tell others that " Friend knows". And because of that I know what you are thinking.

No more bed time story acting cute for kids and tell. To me, tell it. If you think I did any harm in the past and present. And be sure of that before anything to at least let me respect, the heart is still there.

Because at the end, the one I believe and love, they are here. Because they knows. And from now until the day I am still able to see you, I hope I can still see your heart, as a friend who knows.



(This post is referring to specific friend, no offenses to others, thank you.)

The reason, Why..

To all girls, if you have a boy friend.
If you wish to know why. This is why.

Girls wonder, why a guy need to learn how to be strong. Or to stand and hold on.
They know. They may look strong,but in their heart deep, it is weak..weaker than you think.
They hope the one they love will think their are the best always.

If you wonder, why a guy will not cry easily, or try as hard as possible to hold their tears.
Not because they don't cry. They know,once their tears reached the floor.The relationship is over.
They are trying the best to dry it off when it is on their face.

If girls wonder, why a guy need to smoke when he is in pressure..
Because guys know, from the cigarette they took, they are able to recall some of the happy memory with the one they love, to at least have something for their heart to balance. At least a little will do..

Girls questioning why guy will still call and chat with them even after breaking up.
He didn't wanted to be friend with you. He, just trying his best, to recover, one relationship which once belong to him..

If you wonder, why guys will call you to calm down even you got bullied. Or turning mad after you told them.
Because they know, who cares if they lose every fight, lying on the floor. They will feel happy, rather than watching you cry. To call you calm , to prevent you from getting hurt.

Girls wonder, why do guys always get drunk after break up.
They know if they don't get drunk tonight, then tonight, they will only able to walk alone along the memory with you in it.

If girls asked, why guys will pay everything for a girl when outing until they are broke.
Guys are not that rich. They will rather use less or miss their lunch, or even just one burger at night, they won't want other to look down on the one they love the most.

If girls don't understand why guys wanna be mad to them even they know they will get "Hammer"...
They being mad of you not because they don't love you. But to hope that you won't get cheat again in the future. They will sacrifice their heart, for your safety in the time comes.

Girls questioning why guys are being worried when girls talk about their EX..
Not to say they don't trust you. As simple as that, they are afraid, one day, he will become the one you are talking about.. If the girl leave the guy, he will have nothing, actually you knew, he don't even have friends.

Girls wonder, why a guy will still listen to your explanation calmly after you wrote about someone else in your dairy.
Not because he is not angry, but he hope that from what you tell him, he is able to know, who is more important to you. For him , you are..

If you wonder, why a guy will keep saying " I love You", and stopped one day..
He is not boring about these 3 words, and not whatever you think he is.
Because he know, for you, a million " I love You" is just not enough.

And if girls don't understand why a guy like me will come here and write a bu-shit blog.
He is hoping one day, you will get to see this blog. And know what is in his heart,. Because if you don't, the post will be over... soon...
Girls call guys and cry.. Guys can only cry alone after putting down the phone..

Happiness; to a guy is not a easy thing. Nor a fixed standard can tell, or what they are thinking..
A guy who love you, will only smile in front of you, not matter when and where, even before his heart is going to stop working...
Girls get to tell guys about everything, and guys can't even get to tell a thing.

If any girl is mad at me now after reading this blog, I am still smiling.
If you get to understand, I thank you.
That's the reason why guy will put a "Like" on every touching video they saw in Facebook.
That's the reason why he will hug you every time they see you.
That's also the truth to a guy.. who is hold on every second. Because for him, who are going to take care of you, if anything happen to he himself..

May ALL THE GIRL WHO READ, if you are now thinking of him. Give him a call, or at least a text, to let them know, you still love him... At least as a return to the one love you most.. A small small return. Because I can bet any of the guys read your text, he will stop his tears...

And smile.

Saying that.


I love you. My love..

" He"

When you love someone, please don't hurt them.
Loving someone, there is nothing we should cheating on.

If you love someone, will you cheat on him?

There is one kinda of person, once he start loving you,
He don't matters anything, he won't expect anything from return,
After all he has given.

The cold view from his eyes everyday,
But have you think of, how many things he did which you don't get to know,
He didn't ask for anything, not even wanted to let you know.

When you found the one you love, he will wish you congrats happily,
But his tears fall unintentionally...

He never think of interrupting, keep comforting himself,
The greatest love you might never ever notice.

When others talk bad about you, he won't even want to listen a single word,
And keep saying :" Is impossible.."

Because he trust in you,
More then anything in the world.

Maybe you don't get to realize his present,
Maybe he is just passing by every time,
And when you are going to notice it, he will try his best to hide it.

Every night, he won't even know what he is waiting,
It can take days, months or years,
And feel extremely happy, with the one he meet you.

Because he know what he should give,
But not what he should get...

He might get a chance with a good relationship,
But he gave it all up,
For him, your happiest it all he care of.

And you talk to him about your sad stuff, did you ever realize,
He never tell you about his,
He want to hear more about your sadness and secret,
Because he love you, he love all your sadness too...

There is not need for him to know about when you are happy,
Because is non of his business.

Love someone required a great bravery,
Maybe he should give up, rather to walk away,
But that's why.

Do you ever felt lonely, it is like killing you even it is a day or a night.
But he had been that lonely for a year, maybe two, or three..
The day he decided to love you, he knew, and accept it...

How he can stand it?
Only with a little, that little image of memories of you... Just little of it...

Is there anyone you knew did that,
Or is there anyone have the heart for you?

If you finally realize about it, don't misunderstand..
He doesn't want you to love him,
All he want is your happiest, to at least let him know that everything he do, worth it.

No matter who you are with, as long as you are happy,
Because the happiness from you is better than the sadness from both.

Because there are guys i knew,
What he feel, who he is waiting...
It is truth... so truth.

Before You Say : I Do..

Together with you.
I feel no mistake.

Holding you forever
I feel no regret.

When they say guys said the same thing
I may be different..
Because you trust me.

The day you say you are busy
I feel like helping.

Love is so remarkable from you
I have no doubt of that.

To be your man
I will do all of that.

Love to see you in white dress
Just like walking into the pass life.

Love to put jacket onto you
When we both are in the cold.

Taking up all the weight and load
Forget about what is tired.

Waking you up in the morning
That is what I will do after making your breakfast.

Washing all the clothes
Is the only thing I won't let you do.

To hug you to cure all you pressure
Cause I need you to cure mine the same time.

What will be the hardest thing to do for you
Is will be to leave you off to work.

When I am playing the black and white key
I hope I will play it all to you.

Decide the ranking of your food
I will be the first to grade.

Keep refreshing to keep your life fresh
Cause you are fresh to keep me refresh.

Hold your hand when outing
As you hold mine through our life.

Hold you face when you rest
To make sure you are real and with me always.

Love your heat, Love you smile
Love your tears when there is only me around.

Take a picture with the red rose
Make it the first , make it the most.

Kiss on your lips, Kiss at your head
Kisses on your face like all the stamper I made.

See the sunset with all the joy
Cause here you are with me to look at the sky.

Making your room clean
As making you bath as warm as it can.

Watching TV with my love
As walking into the love story to love you , my love.

Be your couple, Be your teddy bear
Be your husband and don't other people dare.

Calling you Baby, calling you honey
Calling you Bao Bao for the rest of my life.

If the little wish can really come true
There are million of yellow light I can run through for you.

Read again and look again.
Before you say :" I do"

If you agree and said
I will give it all to you

To my Baby, to my wife
To the last girl in my life.

Song to you Every night.

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here.

Wonder of balance~

I was driving home, the sky is kind of dark, turning left into a small road. There was a small stall beside, a husband and wife, selling sacks and food; there was no business, at least it is at 5 pm in the evening. But gods know, by just looking at their eyes, the smile , the happy topic they were chatting; makes no depression , no stress..

I got that kinda feeling, something more..

If there was a guy you see, walking at the street with no expression, holding a cigarette which burned till the end.. he is sad. At least i believe he is. The world is fair, no it is not. The world is not fair, the world is balance. The balance of limitation, the balance of soul, the balance keeper.

Balance of price. The price for everything.

It affects.

Humans need to work on for their happiness. Every little thing you say or do. Be creative, be surprising, be smart. Human are try their every effort. Having great time in the end, "happily ever after".The point of living, the center point of living, or maybe it is the point of living which everyone are try to get.

What about sadness, tons of thing happened around you which make you feel sad. Destroying the every last piece of your soul. Every little things you say or do. And never go away in a short period, it is killing you. Cigarette can heal a sad soul? At least someone believe it , and someone feel it.

Where is the point of balance the world trying to hold? Happiness is the thing you want.... And sadness, is the price. Happiness are in need of effort, sadness don't. Sadness is easy to get , but goes into you and stay for a very long time.

The one who can control happiness, you knew they had understand this theory. God give happiness to the one who are ready to lose. One day all of us have an end. That is the balance of limitation.

So as the world.

What have you been doing all this time? It is the thing you want to? Is it there yet?

The sky started to rain after i decide to continue driving.. Both husband and wife are rushing to keep all their thing and food into their van.. The day comes to an end.. I smiled, cause i am one of them who trust the world are balance, and i live in one of them.

See things in a balance way, and you will see the sky and the sea were actually half.