Before Over

拥有希望的遗憾。。

2010-10-09T04:58:00.000-07:00

打了个电话，她接了。对话的前一秒，才发现依然了解，依然心重。以前的感觉，依然还在。听了她的声音，我得安了心。

回想那见面的第一天，遇见可爱的脸孔。回想每一次聊天，她那灿烂的喜悦。回想随她等巴士，那小雨中的温暖。回想当天她牵着我的手，那紧张的心。回想那暗恋的寂寞，才发现比他晚了。。回想在商场狂追版寻找，在人群中不见了她。回想步行回家，在高速公路走了3小时。。

她对我说了不能常常接我电话的原因。
她接受我的关心，已减少了我需多遗憾。。

遗憾那时每对你说明，遗憾我不懂处理感情，遗憾。。当时没把你抱紧。。

往往那一瞬间的希望，都来得不合时，可能是我给自己的安慰。。
“我依然喜欢你。。” 我对她说了。。仿佛我听见了她的微笑，可能是我的多心。。
身在其中，我明白了，得不到的爱，才是最刻骨铭心的爱。

我从来不强求些什么，可能如果有一天，如果在一次，我一定会把这希望紧紧地抱着，不要再有遗憾了。。

如果在一次。。。

牵挂著你是那颗我的心
飘呀飘地在你面前捉摸不定
牵挂著你是那份我的情
吹呀吹到你的眼前我的心
我不愿看到你那湿润的眼睛
怕我会忍不住疼你怕你伤心
我不愿听见你说寂寞的声音
怕我会忍不住对你说我的真感情
牵挂著你是那双我的手
越过你的长发越过你心窝
牵挂著你是那份我的温柔
飞过你的肩膀飞过你的手
我不愿看见你独自离去的身影
怕我会忍不住牵你手将你带走
我不愿看到你依依不舍的表情
怕我又会忍不住再停留怕你难过
你像盛开花朵绽放整个天空
温暖著我将我拥抱在你的怀中
不愿承认是我最深情的脆弱
能否与你一生守候
你像盛开花朵绽放整个天空
温暖著我将我拥抱在你的怀中
不愿承认是我最深情的脆弱
悲伤的我从此漂流
舍不得你是那颗我的心
飘呀飘地在你面前捉摸不定
舍不得你是那份我的情
而徘徊在你面前属於你的我
爱你

曲名：牵挂歌手：伍佰

The Legendary M29!!

2010-10-06T03:32:00.000-07:00

Surprise for the whole Room 28. Note, I am sleeping in this room for 2 days.

Production from : Tan XX and Ong XX.
Friendly support: From all smokers from M29.
Sponsor company: British American Tobacco Company and others.

Please do not drink while you are reading this. Or eat by the way.

Welcome to the door brothers.

Made up by the over due Fisher, Tex, June and Winston.

LoLx, this will be the 3D version.

The Casino Royal~

All of the ingredient, the best way of recycling.

The legendary window No 1.

The legendary window of the year. No.2

All along the wall.. Tan:" Wei! I though they all coming back to help?"
Ong:" I called liao.. Dunno them..."
Tan:" @#$%^&.."

The highest level of cigarette sticking.... Guess what, it is on top of the roof wall. XD

The worst of all... Before the last day, the room is fuck up by super smell made up from Ribenna plus 100plus, Pepsi with chili sos, oil, rotten eggs ( put a hole at the egg and put in salt water and put under the sun for one day ). The television we use to have is on water wet condition and stick in the table. Rubbish everyway, and the fan beside Johnson bed fell down on the last day. Luckily. The cleaner may call the polices once they find out. Even Tan, TJ, and me can't stand 1 second of the smell there... P.S .... Johnson.. remember the can of pin ball you have... Is all on the floor.. hope none of the cleaner fall down.. XD

Tan, is the water still on?......

XD

TO all M29.. The END>>>

See you guys again. Thank you.

The Mirror.

2010-06-22T11:30:00.000-07:00

Starting from the day I choose to be, facts that I can't have everything in both hands. It was heavy and too heavy in deep. Everytime I look into the mirror, to prove I am still alive with the choices I made. And as you said reality is more important.

But doesn't mean I gave up. It is the way whether things are going with me, or not.

All the blames and hard feelings, I couldn't help it. But why the one once use to smile turn on me with the black heart? Keeping those feelings ever help. But they rather keep than telling to my face when it is able to.

Fair enough, not everything have to be say to let others understand, even if they do.

The world is turning, and things do change. But my heart, do not, for the things necessary of course, without force. Funny that people will actually blame for nothing to someone who care.

This is not what it seems, my friend. Friends do know. We use to say that remember? How long you still wanna hold on to it? Not slapping on my face? Go ahead.

But does it really needed? What can be change? Relax, I am cool. Or do you think things are really what you think that way. Is it? Maybe... who knows.

I believe that we use our heart even on the first day we intro our names. I do. I have done nothing to hurt, but rather giving care from a far far place where we couldn't even meet.

Even now I am kinda alone here.. Now. So? What the hell for waking up in the midnight writing something which comes to my head for damn. Because I still care and I do believe the next time we meet, the heart is still there; because I still tell others that " Friend knows". And because of that I know what you are thinking.

No more bed time story acting cute for kids and tell. To me, tell it. If you think I did any harm in the past and present. And be sure of that before anything to at least let me respect, the heart is still there.

Because at the end, the one I believe and love, they are here. Because they knows. And from now until the day I am still able to see you, I hope I can still see your heart, as a friend who knows.

(This post is referring to specific friend, no offenses to others, thank you.)

The reason, Why..

2010-05-26T01:02:00.000-07:00

To all girls, if you have a boy friend.
If you wish to know why. This is why.

Girls wonder, why a guy need to learn how to be strong. Or to stand and hold on.
They know. They may look strong,but in their heart deep, it is weak..weaker than you think.
They hope the one they love will think their are the best always.

If you wonder, why a guy will not cry easily, or try as hard as possible to hold their tears.
Not because they don't cry. They know,once their tears reached the floor.The relationship is over.
They are trying the best to dry it off when it is on their face.

If girls wonder, why a guy need to smoke when he is in pressure..
Because guys know, from the cigarette they took, they are able to recall some of the happy memory with the one they love, to at least have something for their heart to balance. At least a little will do..

Girls questioning why guy will still call and chat with them even after breaking up.
He didn't wanted to be friend with you. He, just trying his best, to recover, one relationship which once belong to him..

If you wonder, why guys will call you to calm down even you got bullied. Or turning mad after you told them.
Because they know, who cares if they lose every fight, lying on the floor. They will feel happy, rather than watching you cry. To call you calm , to prevent you from getting hurt.

Girls wonder, why do guys always get drunk after break up.
They know if they don't get drunk tonight, then tonight, they will only able to walk alone along the memory with you in it.

If girls asked, why guys will pay everything for a girl when outing until they are broke.
Guys are not that rich. They will rather use less or miss their lunch, or even just one burger at night, they won't want other to look down on the one they love the most.

If girls don't understand why guys wanna be mad to them even they know they will get "Hammer"...
They being mad of you not because they don't love you. But to hope that you won't get cheat again in the future. They will sacrifice their heart, for your safety in the time comes.

Girls questioning why guys are being worried when girls talk about their EX..
Not to say they don't trust you. As simple as that, they are afraid, one day, he will become the one you are talking about.. If the girl leave the guy, he will have nothing, actually you knew, he don't even have friends.

Girls wonder, why a guy will still listen to your explanation calmly after you wrote about someone else in your dairy.
Not because he is not angry, but he hope that from what you tell him, he is able to know, who is more important to you. For him , you are..

If you wonder, why a guy will keep saying " I love You", and stopped one day..
He is not boring about these 3 words, and not whatever you think he is.
Because he know, for you, a million " I love You" is just not enough.

And if girls don't understand why a guy like me will come here and write a bu-shit blog.
He is hoping one day, you will get to see this blog. And know what is in his heart,. Because if you don't, the post will be over... soon...
Girls call guys and cry.. Guys can only cry alone after putting down the phone..

Happiness; to a guy is not a easy thing. Nor a fixed standard can tell, or what they are thinking..
A guy who love you, will only smile in front of you, not matter when and where, even before his heart is going to stop working...
Girls get to tell guys about everything, and guys can't even get to tell a thing.

If any girl is mad at me now after reading this blog, I am still smiling.
If you get to understand, I thank you.
That's the reason why guy will put a "Like" on every touching video they saw in Facebook.
That's the reason why he will hug you every time they see you.
That's also the truth to a guy.. who is hold on every second. Because for him, who are going to take care of you, if anything happen to he himself..

May ALL THE GIRL WHO READ, if you are now thinking of him. Give him a call, or at least a text, to let them know, you still love him... At least as a return to the one love you most.. A small small return. Because I can bet any of the guys read your text, he will stop his tears...

And smile.

Saying that.

I love you. My love..

" He"

2010-05-18T04:47:00.000-07:00

When you love someone, please don't hurt them.
Loving someone, there is nothing we should cheating on.

If you love someone, will you cheat on him?

There is one kinda of person, once he start loving you,
He don't matters anything, he won't expect anything from return,
After all he has given.

The cold view from his eyes everyday,
But have you think of, how many things he did which you don't get to know,
He didn't ask for anything, not even wanted to let you know.

When you found the one you love, he will wish you congrats happily,
But his tears fall unintentionally...

He never think of interrupting, keep comforting himself,
The greatest love you might never ever notice.

When others talk bad about you, he won't even want to listen a single word,
And keep saying :" Is impossible.."

Because he trust in you,
More then anything in the world.

Maybe you don't get to realize his present,
Maybe he is just passing by every time,
And when you are going to notice it, he will try his best to hide it.

Every night, he won't even know what he is waiting,
It can take days, months or years,
And feel extremely happy, with the one he meet you.

Because he know what he should give,
But not what he should get...

He might get a chance with a good relationship,
But he gave it all up,
For him, your happiest it all he care of.

And you talk to him about your sad stuff, did you ever realize,
He never tell you about his,
He want to hear more about your sadness and secret,
Because he love you, he love all your sadness too...

There is not need for him to know about when you are happy,
Because is non of his business.

Love someone required a great bravery,
Maybe he should give up, rather to walk away,
But that's why.

Do you ever felt lonely, it is like killing you even it is a day or a night.
But he had been that lonely for a year, maybe two, or three..
The day he decided to love you, he knew, and accept it...

How he can stand it?
Only with a little, that little image of memories of you... Just little of it...

Is there anyone you knew did that,
Or is there anyone have the heart for you?

If you finally realize about it, don't misunderstand..
He doesn't want you to love him,
All he want is your happiest, to at least let him know that everything he do, worth it.

No matter who you are with, as long as you are happy,
Because the happiness from you is better than the sadness from both.

Because there are guys i knew,
What he feel, who he is waiting...
It is truth... so truth.

Before You Say : I Do..

2010-04-26T21:27:00.000-07:00

Together with you.
I feel no mistake.

Holding you forever
I feel no regret.

When they say guys said the same thing
I may be different..
Because you trust me.

The day you say you are busy
I feel like helping.

Love is so remarkable from you
I have no doubt of that.

To be your man
I will do all of that.

Love to see you in white dress
Just like walking into the pass life.

Love to put jacket onto you
When we both are in the cold.

Taking up all the weight and load
Forget about what is tired.

Waking you up in the morning
That is what I will do after making your breakfast.

Washing all the clothes
Is the only thing I won't let you do.

To hug you to cure all you pressure
Cause I need you to cure mine the same time.

What will be the hardest thing to do for you
Is will be to leave you off to work.

When I am playing the black and white key
I hope I will play it all to you.

Decide the ranking of your food
I will be the first to grade.

Keep refreshing to keep your life fresh
Cause you are fresh to keep me refresh.

Hold your hand when outing
As you hold mine through our life.

Hold you face when you rest
To make sure you are real and with me always.

Love your heat, Love you smile
Love your tears when there is only me around.

Take a picture with the red rose
Make it the first , make it the most.

Kiss on your lips, Kiss at your head
Kisses on your face like all the stamper I made.

See the sunset with all the joy
Cause here you are with me to look at the sky.

Making your room clean
As making you bath as warm as it can.

Watching TV with my love
As walking into the love story to love you , my love.

Be your couple, Be your teddy bear
Be your husband and don't other people dare.

Calling you Baby, calling you honey
Calling you Bao Bao for the rest of my life.

If the little wish can really come true
There are million of yellow light I can run through for you.

Read again and look again.
Before you say :" I do"

If you agree and said
I will give it all to you

To my Baby, to my wife
To the last girl in my life.

Song to you Every night.

2010-04-20T05:24:00.000-07:00

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here.

Wonder of balance~

2010-03-22T02:50:00.000-07:00

I was driving home, the sky is kind of dark, turning left into a small road. There was a small stall beside, a husband and wife, selling sacks and food; there was no business, at least it is at 5 pm in the evening. But gods know, by just looking at their eyes, the smile , the happy topic they were chatting; makes no depression , no stress..

I got that kinda feeling, something more..

If there was a guy you see, walking at the street with no expression, holding a cigarette which burned till the end.. he is sad. At least i believe he is. The world is fair, no it is not. The world is not fair, the world is balance. The balance of limitation, the balance of soul, the balance keeper.

Balance of price. The price for everything.

It affects.

Humans need to work on for their happiness. Every little thing you say or do. Be creative, be surprising, be smart. Human are try their every effort. Having great time in the end, "happily ever after".The point of living, the center point of living, or maybe it is the point of living which everyone are try to get.

What about sadness, tons of thing happened around you which make you feel sad. Destroying the every last piece of your soul. Every little things you say or do. And never go away in a short period, it is killing you. Cigarette can heal a sad soul? At least someone believe it , and someone feel it.

Where is the point of balance the world trying to hold? Happiness is the thing you want.... And sadness, is the price. Happiness are in need of effort, sadness don't. Sadness is easy to get , but goes into you and stay for a very long time.

The one who can control happiness, you knew they had understand this theory. God give happiness to the one who are ready to lose. One day all of us have an end. That is the balance of limitation.

So as the world.

What have you been doing all this time? It is the thing you want to? Is it there yet?

The sky started to rain after i decide to continue driving.. Both husband and wife are rushing to keep all their thing and food into their van.. The day comes to an end.. I smiled, cause i am one of them who trust the world are balance, and i live in one of them.

See things in a balance way, and you will see the sky and the sea were actually half.

Willing

2009-11-02T09:10:00.000-08:00

The day when its dark.
Never after you bring light to me.

The day when you cry.
Never after you meet me.

The day when I am down.
Never after you miss me.

The day never comes.
Never after I say you can trust me.

No matter how you feel.
Never after your heart is with me.

To you
I am willing.

For you
There is no more hiding.

I can stand the pain
Never after I say I need you beside me.

The ending of the road
Not after I found a turning which you brought to me.

I see you smile , touch and laughter
Once from the day I called you baby.

Holding you along
It makes me.

The emotional you and I have in our heart
It really means.

If I promise you again
As well as promise to myself

I will still tell all of them : I Love You
Even one day you say you hate me.

Whatever they said
I will prove to all of them by time.

I share all the emotion with you
Even if it is pain.

Remember everything we have said
When the time we both said : I rather be the one.. I will not let anything happen to you.

Because in my eyes
There is only you.

Give me all your tears
If it can makes you happy.

Give you all my love and promises
If it can make you touching.

Without you I just can't think
Because you mean everything to me.

Telling you everything
Hugging you until the second I can't even kiss.

They may think I am
They said that I am.

Even if I said something wrong to you
The things which I do makes you worried.

My heart are still the same
From the minutes I hold you face with deep breath.

Your faces are still red
Your smell are still the same.

I may not be enough
Rather be the best.

Maybe I am blur
Standing outside the fitting room holding your bag.

But my head are still imagining
When you are in the white dress.

Waking late at night
Making sure our dishes are ready and never turned bad.

Keep telling I want to take you as my wife
Still there are years away.

Giving everything I could
To make everything we want to our way.

To make you feel relax
Even the time I can't feel my heart is beeping.

I want to write everything down
When it is late and I can't hold up my head.

For all and all
For you the only baby.

I don't get to know what will be there tomorrow
Having love or even hate you to me.

What I said
What I means

The day I told you I will sitting in the park waiting for you even I am 80
And there is someone else holding you in your wedding.

I love you.

Baby.

I love you.

I am willing....

To the Nameless One..

2009-10-28T17:46:00.000-07:00

Good to hear from you and thanks for all the comment. It is caring and is lovely.

Hope you will settle you stuff fast and get to view my blog again. Well, haha, I won't wanna lose a friend. Lol.

Me and my love one are doing fine and well. Thanks for the blessing. She is very nice to me, caring, good personality and understanding. No worries, my friend.

Well, even I feel kinda weird and empty without you view my blog for sometimes.. But still, I have to want you to take good care. As i always say, " relax". ha ha.

I still don't know who you are. And as last time, maybe I still think that I don't need to know who you actually are, " It is just someone I knew".

My friend, may God bless you in everything you do. Really really hope you will be fine and back as soon as possible. All the best to you too. Seecya.

The Perfect of the Inperfection

2009-10-27T08:35:00.000-07:00

In the world we hope to have a great appearance. Some of them have it, some of them don't. And even some of us complain about our own appearance, or some of us are not confidence at all with it.

Nowadays, there are new movies telling that maybe in future, we can use robot to replace we ourselves, with perfect figure , perfect body, perfect look , perfect talent and perfect condition. Or maybe biological research find out that there is way to make human immortality so and so.

Talking about finding a hot guy or a sexy girl to fell in love with?

Yeah , that will be great.
But how long can beauty stay up to?

Human don't need that, we don't need that exactly. Most of us is not perfect. Take me for example, I am kinda skinny. Lol... I may want to have a strong muscular body. A girl may want to have a hot sexy body figure, at else I thought.

Not until I meet a special someone. She is pretty, sexy, nice body figure and a sweetest smile. One that I can't even believe that I am with her now. I was thinking like, How can she accept me as another part of her.

But once I am with her, she care about me, know about me and make me see many things clear.

You are actually kinda good looking.
You are very caring.
You are very good at comfort me and make me laugh.
You always make me feel sweet.
You are a good listener when I need you.
You take me seriously.

All the things she told me.....

I guess this is the best part, just because no one in the world can be perfect.

But for me and her, we both are perfect for each other, better than anyone else.
Holding her hand make me feel on the top of the world.
Being to miss her even minutes after leaving her house.
Feeling comfort hugging her heart while sleep.

That's the only way I guess human can be perfect.

Its funny. The main word I name in blogs can't be use by human but created by human themselves.

Actually it can. We human just need to change its form.

In my heart, you are perfect darling..
Loving you, makes me perfect..

The Eternity

2009-10-24T11:27:00.001-07:00

If I have soul. It will not be mine anymore. It is taken away. If I awake one night. It will be cold than any other day. It is lonely.

How can I get to own you? How can I get to hold your hands always?

Human can't go against nature flow. Even if we say fate never decide everything. When we come into life, we try to grab as much as we can without realizing we will lost all of them one day.

If we have soul. I guess it will be the only thing carry on after the last day. It never ends.

They say reality is more important than imaging funny ideas and unreachable dreams. And some of them even try to remember sweet ideas and remarkable nice dreams. Yeah. It may sound a waste of time. But the one without it is even worse.

If we have dreams. I guess it will be the only thing hold you to rest well. Never want to go away if you're in it.

How long is life?

It will be just the remaining amount of breath we can take. Or sometimes some of them don't even get to.

If we are breathing. I guess it will be the luckiest thing which is happening to you. I am breathing with you.

How difficult to us to live on our life?

There will be depression, difficulties, tension, reality, way of surviving. Fighting for power. Defensing ourselves. Protect our loves one. Going against fate which we don't like to be controlled.

If we live in hard life. I guess it will be the only thing to keep and make us stronger and fearless. I am living with you.

May I get to keep something, hold on to something or love something; until the last second of me.

We human make the word "Eternity", which means things never go to an end.
But we don't get to use the word, cause we know nothing will be.

To everyone who read this post, try to think about it.

smile~ For me. She let me realize that there is eternal, falling deep in our heart, we will be eternal for each other.

Letting our heart to lead us isn't so bad. At least I am living better than other days now.

If I have soul. It will not be mine anymore. It is taken by you. If I awake one night. It will be cool than any other day. Because I am missing you.

If there is a chances for me to use the word eternity. I would have to say.

I love you.

Temperature..

2009-10-20T08:40:00.000-07:00

The day when I hold you.
Every moment I stick to you.
Every time you are with me.
Every second I miss you.
Every week when I meet you.
Every feeling I though of you.
Every touch I had from you.
Every minutes I say I love you.
Every words I message you.
The heart I gave you.
Every comfort you gave me.
Every senses we kissed.
Every strong bang I had in my heart for you.
Every thing I done for you.
The only one is you.
Every fingers we hold together.
Every places I went with you.
Every promise I promised you.
Every imagining future I had for you.
Every phone call I said I want to marry you.
Every morning texting with you.
Every journey along with you.
Every way I get you.
Every coming years I will be with you.
Every red faces I saw you.
Every night I need you.
The lips which I hunger of you.
Every thing I do with you.
Every meal I ate with you.
Every occasion I bring along you.
Every plan we want to do.
Every sentences I told you.
Every sanitizer I took from you.
Every crush me to you.
Every song I play for you.
Every secret I share with you.
Every present I gave you.
Every blog I wrote about you.
Every dream which having you.
Every luck I wished you.
Every train I waited for you.
Every jokes I tell you.
Every tales I talk bout you.
Every movie hugging you.
Every Gami Bear tasted with you.
Every understanding I had from you.
Every confidence gave by you.
Every remarkable memory when taking photo of you.

The madness increase in body temperature having you.

Lou por. I love you.

There You'll Be.

2009-10-19T00:06:00.000-07:00

More Free Music at MP3-Codes.com

The Special 19.

2009-10-18T23:24:00.000-07:00

The day which things begin. My day became more meaningful day by day. My sun on the sky seem more brighter, and even it rains, feeling like the cold wind flows in to my heart to make me feel comfort.

The day which emotional happens. The restaurant gave me a personal space. Having warm lights with a sense of darkness. A special feeling when I touched. It is warm, like tears of someone come down through her face. Like there was no spaces between both of us.

The day which I slow down my steps. The path seems to became longer then ever. For the first time I wish the way I walked never end. My hands required strength to hold.

The day which I always keep my eyes close. As if I don't need them anymore. I can feel the heart beats, I can feel the breath. I can feel the touches, and increasing temperature.

The day which I became to have 2 personality. Which separated miles away. Took care by someone who thinks the same way with me. I don't feel lonely anymore days go by.

The day which I am singing new song in my heart every night before I sleep, or get to sleep. I love the tempo; like the stars are singing for me too.

The day which I can't stop laughing. Smiling putted on my face the whole day. Acting crazy and madness. Guess same goes to the one who understand my heart. smile....

The day which I change my hair style the other day. My friends, for the first time, yeah, I cut my hair. Hope you all will like it, well.. I love it.

The day too.. which I get injures on my body. Marks every way. Seems like bleeding. It hurts .. it hurts a lot..

There will be lots and lots of 19th coming along my life. And I want as such 19 as I can. That is a promise. For all the touches my feel, all the comfort, all the warmness.. for the eternally, there will be a 19 ahead.

May i hold U Always next Xmas.

You took my heart away

2009-09-24T17:49:00.000-07:00

* Will remove the song once there are new updates or new song is posted. Thanks for supporting.*

Telling~ Knowing~

2009-09-23T19:50:00.000-07:00

Human get to know thing when, they knew things, they saw things. But for know from others, the only get to know by listening. Which means someone need to tell another one to let him or her know.

" Bu-shit. There is no use even I tell her. "

" There will no be a good ending, forget it , i Don't wanna tell him. "

" I love her, but she already have a boyfriend, so i guess i just wait..."

" There is no need for me to tell, i will just follow the flow.."

People will come out with funny thinking.

Or some of them , wish to let him/her to know , wish to tell but dare not, korean drama style, and still wrote things indirectly on blog wish that him/her will accidently find out?

oh dear god~

Why can we just, okay , i will suggest to the one who really are the type of people that i wrote about above, to go to the cinema, watch the movie call " The Ugly Truth".

swt...

Right , Serious. Same goes to guys and girls, what is the worst thing in life? It is nothing more than having something in your heart which you wanted to tell someone but you don't or dare not and hurt you badly.. or madly maybe. You can't even do anything else more, you can't concentrate, you are no on form doing your stuff, and go blur straight away when the one is standing in front of you.

Why can't we just tell what we feel or want to let him/her know to the one? It is just words, and this is more than words, words with feelings , with hope, with tears, with love.

As I said in my older post, lots of time we need to think by using our heart instead of our brain. Don't care what will happen, just tell. Let the one know what you are think, what is your feeling to him/her.

There is no need for guys to act cool, just say it. Affraid of losing a friend after tell her your true feeling? Forget it. Girls are not that simple. You will only lose a friend because the thing or Emoness you put on yourself after telling, sorry guys i have to say, its lame, girls think that way.

People like to know things, same goes to what other are thinking of them, they wanted to know so much. That why, tell them. I bet we are the same.

" Why did you tell me you like me in the first place? "

" Cause now you had a boyfriend, that why i choose not to tell.."

" AND HOW THE HELL I SURPOSE TO KNOW?" see...?

Telling is not stupid nor brave, it is the first and last thing we do, and believe me, you will have a good night sleep tonight.

To the Nameless One..

2009-09-21T03:11:00.000-07:00

Hi my friend. Why do you apologize? Did i wrote or said anythings wrong?
I am sorry if i really do.. Or i got the wrong message?

Blood on Our OwN

2009-09-13T08:23:00.001-07:00

As we live on , we meet friends, and some of them may be understandable, nice, charming, caring, smart, honest, selfish, ugly, whatever. Different people have different action , personality and thinking.

When we first meet with whoever, we may "target locked" as the first time we knew them.
" He is this kinda person "
It is what we usually say.

People are connected the same way, knowing, but the result is different. Even there is nothing more than friendship, even its normal, how 1 people tread his or her friend is totally different.

It is normal.

But for some of them may think that why is my friend act so cool to me yet for me he/she is the one I though we should be good friends, or we should be close.

Why my friend never cares about what happen to me, why the things I though it mean something but mean nothing to my friend, and will disappointed to say that he/she doesn't care.

Think too much.

If anyone agree or in the same situation, I guess i have to say, we are thinking too much.

Each of us in one earth, having own life, having the one we actually love , care , hate , etc.
Sometimes, as someone said to me, it may be the matter of time. Our friend or the one we care the most, they may care of us too, but in a different way, may not spoken out , but they do care.

And even we should think about, they may want to say something, something that show lots and lots of care to us, but sorry to say , we never gave them any chances. And it may not be the right time they think they should say it.

Whoever person in this world I guess, they have a heart , just like what we think we have. Our friends , the one we love , the one around us, they do Care.

But please don't judge them before they even have a chances to, for the one who we think is that important to us, it is not fair.

To the Nameless One

2009-09-13T08:09:00.000-07:00

Hey. Thanks for all the comment and i have to say everything you said were correct. You were right about me. And if you say that i may know who are you... Well, i don't. It may be , It may be not. Maybe you are close to me , maybe you are far from. You know me.

But still, knowing who you are actually or not is no big deal. This is our way right? ^^

I may know who are you one day, or , I will keep you here , as one person who understand me, here. And no matter if i know who are you some other day , you can be you, and leave "the one here" remain to the nameless.

You were right, i do need to tkae things easily. And thats the way , the right way to do things the right way, the power to hold things on nicely.

I do wish our connection here never ends. I do need people to give me comment, at least someone who understand me, like you , your comment.

Thankyou very much, my friend. I thankyou. ^^

Walking along.

2009-09-07T08:51:00.000-07:00

Days passed. I start to settle a lot of things which are unsettle. Friends , family, brothers, me myself. Knowing of so many things which I never realize all these while. Got a kind of release after every thing I did.

We do pay a lot in our life to learn; and to move on. But , I am still who I am, no doult. I do remember every single thing I said and keeping every little promise. I do.

Week passed, I rarely have enough sleep. I miss those who are important to me yet I still stop contacting them currently. I may need more time, as I always say. But I do miss you all. I do miss you.

Seeing things at different point of view isn't that bad; at least I do feel better, in a way.

Things happened around me, everyday. They all went into my brain and I do remember every second of it and I don't know why. Waiting for the time which I am able to walk back to my normal way of life.

And things happen to me make me realized all the negative side of myself. And because of this, I try to go around places, look for people which I have things to settle with them, and settle it. And I do feel great that luck is on my side; I get to meet those people somehow.

And it let me know that who actually care, who actually able to care , and those who wish to care but I never give them a chances to. Without those voices I do feel lonely as ever. I miss them.

Time has allow me to move on soon, or maybe I am moving. I really do not wish to lost any friendship anymore. I don't want to lost anyone anymore. I wish the one I do love and care are able to walk along with me through my living days, at least in my heart.

Until the day I am really back..

I miss You. I really miss you.

To the Nameless one

2009-09-05T10:04:00.000-07:00

I leave the reply under each time of your comment. Well. Wish you can check it everytime you read. Thank you. Really thank you.

The Day when you left. To my God Father... R.I.P

2009-08-31T12:37:00.000-07:00

I cant write anything here. Words can't represent my feelings.

Sorry god father... I don't get to see you before you leave... I am sorry.

I start to realize what kind of person I am.. I will reconsider myself.. Or I can't face any of them who really care for me..

I stop crying, seriously... I guess you won't want me to...

As I said growing and leaning in life need a price, but the price this time.. is really too large..

I need sometime, maybe a lot of time, also wanted to say sorry to all of my best friends and Bros... I really need sometime to reconsider myself..

Until the day... I am sorry.

R.I.P to my god father.

The Unsolve.

2009-08-30T21:48:00.000-07:00

Some people have a special ability,we call it Insight. Which means they are able to know what are others thinking, emotion, action, practice, personality and style. It sounds cool. I know many of you have that ability, or maybe a little bit of it.

There was once Einstein said that humans are not even using more than 12% of their own brain, well , maybe he used more. And Marie Curie said :" If someone is able to know what others thinking, he or she maybe god, and this is the ability god is having."

So now, I said many of you having that ability , am I wrong?

Well, guess not, things change, and they made the statement 150 years plus ago.

Many of you do have that ability , me too, a little bit of it.

It is kind of a powerful thing to get someone to know another one and maybe impress by knowing what they want, what they like without telling. Sounds nice, it may help you to make up with guys or girls. With Insight, you can even get to know what is going to happen or what will he or she do in the next moment.

I got this ability after lots and lots of things happen to me. Other word my brain learn this ability itself. For me , I feel like kind of fun and happy while starting, knowing things I wish to know from some people, like personality. lolx.

So, getting to know someone personality letting us to decide wheather that person is good or suitable to mix with. And, things happen to be good, friend, bro/sis, very close with each other, couple or whatever.

But when the time comes, some of you might be the same, start to be afraid, fear about the ability of Insight. Knowing the personality of the one you know well changed. Changes of being not suiting to your personality. Start doing things which cause you to feel bad. Start to make up question like " why will he become like this " , " Is this the one i knew last time", " She is just this kind of person??" , bla bla bla...

" Things change and you cant expect all people remain the same over time " will be the most common answer we will get.

And the more you look into and getting know about what that person think or act , hope for getting some answers, yet the only thing you will get is more and more unsolve question and disappointment.

End of the day which I feel like knowing the thinking of someone isn't helping at all. Yet make me feel pressure and tension. Fear to lost a friend , or someone which you want to be with but you can't. It may be the ability of Insight fail me, or would be too high of expectation for someone fail the ability of Insight. It is no good.

These happen to make someone lost of direction. Asking what should be done.
Or maybe the ability is not complete or perfect, by looking in someone will not be the trueself of that person if he is pretending. And worst thing happened when he go back to his real " him".

Maybe it is not a right way, and somehow I stop to use the ability of Insight. Gaining nothing.
And maybe we are human , just because we are human, there is no need to use such ability. Who knows if 12% uses of the human brain is more than enough. Imagine if someone used up to more than 12%, what will be the counter react, facing question without any answer.

To the Nameless One.

2009-08-30T21:46:00.001-07:00

Hi. From now I think we contact though comments ba, I will write my message at the comment to you under my blog post. Thanks for the comment. Others stuff I wrote under comment. Please to read. ^^

The Heart

2009-08-25T11:12:00.001-07:00

Heart is one the the important organ in our body; heart attack can't be cure, a doctor said.
Heart is use to listen to those things more than just using our hears, a musician said.
Heart is energy that beats every second along the journey, a runner said.

Different individual might say a different concept.

There is one day went to a fruit stall which i didn't realize it is been there for 4 years in my own living area. I brought some oranges. The first time i meet with the boss.

" Finally you came by to buy some fruit, young man."

" Do we know each other already? I though I am the first time here."

" Haha. I watch everyone passing by the street for the last 4 years plus. You live at the house up there, my daughter use to tell me everytime she saw you passed by. A weird kid walking alone without putting any emotion to his face."

" And your daughter?"

" She went study in Japan, don't think she is coming back."

" Haha, interesting, and why do you feel kinda happy when i am here buying fruit from you? It should be normal to you for anyone coming to your stall."

" I don't plan to run this business longer, since there is only me and my wife here. But still I feel kinda happy, to see you walking here smiling at last."

The moment he answer my question, I feel kind of shock. It is like there is some one who put his concern on me, for the pasy 4 years? what the.....
The time i even though that, he is there because of me, waiting for me to give him the ending.

I do realize, how many people, human think with their heart , but not their brain. Have you ever feel the real pain in heart? Why not your head? There is only heart attack. Why not brain attack?

In my life , ever the day I start to know what is emotion, whole of my life, it is like things happen in life running through the flow of my heart with others. Doing what I feel like doing. For every single thing happen , wheather it is good or bad, sad or happiness, they are going in my heart to keep me going to tomorrow.

Holding up all the memories and promises. Keeping in all the lesson and hard times. Gaining the things which i feel it is really valueble in my life, lke the old man at the fruit stall. All in or by my heart.

Thats the reason why I am emotional. And it is also why I learned and move on. It is why i can make promises when everyone feel like it is imposible for a human to hold on to. And it is who I am after all. There was a time when I am doubt that wheather it is no good to put too much emotion for what had happened. Yes it is no good. But not to everything. There are something still, you can't get to know, learn or feel without strong emotion, from heart.

By doing that, I put my soul on six of them, who actually able to indirectly affect my emotion, in other word, to control the feeling of my heart; the truth, I am the one think by using both my heart and brain.

And now , they had become the motion or strenght to every single thing I do to improve.

Yet , I do not lost myself. To be clear, putting the soul of my heart on the six of them is nothing to do for being myself.

And the reason I am doing it, maybe you are doing the same without notice yourself, simple, just because I feel free , happy , relax and able to express my emotion the time I am with them. And the real point i get to be myself when I am with them.

Human live in the time when we breath. How long more you should hide your emotion. Like me, there maybe someone who actually watching you longer or more than you even realize. Sorry for the one who can't get what I am trying to tell in this blog, try to think with your heart, not your head. haha....

*****
Use your head to find the answer when you are getting the work done.
Use your heart to find the answer when you are getting yourself done.

The Buns...

2009-08-23T06:12:00.001-07:00

BASE ON TRUE STORY OF MINE. lolx. start of with a less formal style. Okay. Its a sunny saturday,one of my friend suggest that we go for tea with our old school classmates. My friend drove my car and we started our journey, and i have to say except for my friend who was driving, no one knows where we were actually going.

Open the GPS. " waaaooo" , on the screen, 3 journeys.
1st journey : 25km++
2nd journey: 40km ++
3rd journey : 20km++

total of 85km++ What the.....

God. 2 hours drive for tea? I can't even believe it myself. lolx. The time we arrived, and my friend said :" Here is Tanjung Sepang, they sell the best bun in town. Lots of the celebrities were here just to test the buns. "

SWTness.. Anyway, i brought some for her ^^.

On that day. 6 of us, guess some of them were sleeping along the journey, some even complaining that it was crazy, just because of bun..
Well, honestly i feel it was kind of crazy too, too bad the last time I check, i build my life most on craziness.

The bun is nice.

Many people will think that something use to happen to be suck.. but different people think the other way.

Along the journey, I do enjoy side seeing, the forest neutral and the beautiful sea side. The old style kinda living area, old houses and shops. Feel like walking back to history, a time with no rushing for work, no tension for life, no depression over problems. There is one kind of undescridable feelings of relaxation and peaces.

I really can't write the feelings i had at that moment, it is magical, touching. Leave it for your own imagination. haha.

Went back on the evening. Sunset accompany us along the journey. Warm... ^^
There is no point of living life without taking a few chances, someone said that. And I guess thats who I am.

There are someone took airplane to Hong Kong for a DIM SAM breakfast and back to Malaysia in the evening, so what? lolx.

I love the buns. Still warm when i gave them to her ^^ hahaha.

To the NamelesS

2009-08-20T10:10:00.000-07:00

I like your style. It is okay, I would like to do it your way.

Well, all the time you are giving me good comment, I am thankyou.

^^ I will not ask anything bout you until you wanna tell me yourself.

But allow me to ask, if i wish to leave a message or wanted to talk about the comment, what should I do?.

Neways , Thank you and everyone who actually support my blog.

Wishing for more good post.

Matches in the Dark. The 25 is coming, again.

2009-08-15T12:52:00.000-07:00

Start off with a smile. Take a breath. ^^

This will be a Emo blog, or maybe it is not Emo at all. As i said tomorrow never comes late, time flies, it is going to be 25th , this month. It maybe the day that totally changed the way I live my life 5 years ago. The day she left me, her family, all of the friends, and her life...

May i describe more about her. Well, lets start from the face. Two bright eyes which can look deeply into someone. Holding a guitar or violin wherever she goes. Soft hands , little fingers, which can play anytime along with my piano. A very sweet voice that touch everyones heart. Huging that let me know that she is always be with me; with a bit of cigarette smell of Malborol.

After the day of 25th. There is nothing left for everyone who knows her. No more sitting at the corner she always been sitting in the studio. Losting everything i though i can hold up to. No more walking on the little street she walked every weekends to my house. Lots and lots sadness, Emo, Ego, madness, depression , tensions , hopeless....

That all histories. Tonight, I took out the only picture we have, the picture we took with our band. By looking the smile on all the faces in the picture, i can even feel the happiness right now.
Smile~
I feel like there is a kind of sweet feelings going into my heart. There is no more sadness or depression. I know, there is no point of living in the shadow.

Refresh about all the things happen between us. I remember the time i hate when you smoking inside of the studio. The time we complete the first song we composed. The time when we run away from work. The days we both stay back in the studio, sitting together, singing... The time when you lying on my showder over the night. And the matches we play with after we off all the light. The little touch of the flames taht keep both of us warm together.

Guess it will be a rainny day on the 25th. Who knows. I was smiling all the way when typing this blog. I really wanted to thanks her for giving me a really sweet memory in my life. Because there is no point being depressing over her leaving. I guess everyone who knew her would do the same.

Her leaving made me start smoking, but there is someone now who made me stopped, and teached me smile. haha. I guess i will stick to it, for my own health. lolx. I will miss you, we all will miss you, all the time in our heart. And I will also end off with a smile.

R.I.P my friends.

25th of Agust 2004.

-Feedback-

2009-08-15T10:29:00.000-07:00

Thank to all of you who view , comment and support my blogs. Thankful to all the opinions and advises that shared. ^^

And again , hope all of you like my blogs and continue for supportting.
Look forward for more supporters and comments.

P.S : Hope whatever i wrote never offences anyone or anything.

Promise....

2009-08-07T07:47:00.000-07:00

When a guy use to like a girl or the other way round, usually one of the them with make up funny promise; like, I love you forever , there is nothing can replace you in my life , I will hold you until the end of the world. bla bla bla.

But how many of them can actually hold to what they promise, or how long they can keep what they said. How hard it is to hold them on. How terrible it is to hold it. Had people start to realize it? Just because of the promise said before...

What is the reason for them to keep to their promise? Because it is really true? How much of them? Because wanted to show others what you are? How real it is? Because you wish to tell the only one something but you can't.

There is too many of fake in this world wish make the real looks fake too...
It really takes a very strong will to hold it on. And the people who realize this are always have a big problem in life. Either they don't make any promises, or they take the whole life for it until the last day, and may get nothing at all.

The day I make a promise to myself, I knew I will waste my whole life for it. It is like dropping a coin into the deep sea, it is final, and there is no return. And again i will stuck myself back into terrible time... all the time...

The takes a great price to whoever wanted to do the same, have a true promise, a life time promise. And it take a great price too for the one who want to believe in it.
The worst thing is even if we take the whole life to hold the promise we made, the keep the words we say, hardly , madly, and yet the one he or she will believe, but they don't even take it seriously at all.

As I always say , and all of them who knew and doing the same thing as I did

I mean what i said, it is true and it will be. Whatever it takes, whatever happen.
As long as I am living , and even there is no one left on the last day of it,
And even you don't care at all,

I promise........

Knowing_____________ Me

2009-08-02T05:05:00.000-07:00

The morning i woke up to look myself in the mirror knowing that my body is still warm.

The breakfast i ate to realize the age of my mom knowing that time flys.

The car i washed to see it dust knowing how long things i stopped care of.

The bottles i cleaned at the bar to let them look shinny knowing the period of time i stopped drinking.

The lighter i kept in place after using knowing that i have stopped smoking.

The piano i played which it sound weird knowing when it is the last tuning.

The picture i looked which took during secondary knowing that i am moving on.

The song i heard that i love the most knowing the things which i hold on always.

The little dog that i love look at me in its eyes knowing how long it have been the last time i touched its head.

The cool wind i need to let me relax knowing how much depression i can stand and left.

The feeling i miss everytime i be with you knowing how sweet the memory is.

The smile i seen always which make me lose all my tension knowing when is the time i learn how to smile.

The phone i am using contain lots of credit knowing how long i nve call my friends.

The people i saw on the street walking with depression and sadness in the rain knowing life is unpredictable.

The guy i saw who always go the same psychologist knowing that human mind are not that easy to cure.

The last minutes packing i do to go back to my college knowing tomorrow never come late.

Barrier

2009-07-31T08:26:00.000-07:00

Things in this world go different everytime the human's thinking changed. Weird. Many of them try to figure out how will this happen, maybe there will not be any answer. And this happen when many of us start to realize ; when someone knew the truth or something they should have known, they will start to avoid, rather feeling kinda fear and hate. Same thing goes to people in schools, friends and everyone else.Whoever knew them before may think they are good to be with , with confidences. But end up, feeling kind of dissappointed for what had happened.The one we think is fine, may end up the same way.

Too little amount of people get to go beyond this kind of limitation; fear for themselves to get in to a very confuse rather hard kind of situation.

Many of you which I guess this topic is not even new, but what the point of people still never realize what they are doing brings others' despression. And sometimes, things may not be what you think it is.

Not until the day you understand, it may be too late. Even the day comes, hopefully everythings still have a chances to go back to normal. At least.

The Untouchable.

2009-07-26T03:03:00.000-07:00

It is a late night. After a late saturday dinner, i went home, looking for a cool drinks. I did really feel warm.. from the weather ? from my body? Or izit from my head, i can't tell. I really can't tell. At the moment i though it was the small bottle of bir i had during my dinner start to take its effect.

It take strenght for me to breath, feeling blur. Feeling tired but don't feel like sitting down. I took out my shirt, took a bath; but it doesn't help me to cool down. It seems like there are something, something that will make all the memory come back to me again. Start to think about stuff which happened , good and bad, terrible.

The pain of the memories are consuming my strenght, my heart start to feel hard again...

I tried my best to breath slowly, hold my hands together. In my mind, i was trying to stop thinking about anything, closing the door of the history of myself.

The make me feel better, since it was not a windy night, as everyone did , thinking or recall about all kinda happy and good memory i had. My friends, brothers , pet sis... all of them. Thinking about the one who teach me how to relax , how to play piano and the one who teach me how to smile. Took out my phone, look at all the pictures i took...

smile...

Start to realize that actually memory is the best and the most dangerous part of a person. It will be the best medic or the worst poision in our brain. There is no telling or we can't select what will become our memory or delete it away once it is there. All we can do is choose not to touch it anymore, to seal it up.

A strong memory guy may be the most depress guy ever. Guess it is the time people need to stop touch with all their old and rather sad memories. We want to be better; i promise to myself to be better and i will be better. Until the day the untouchable leave this world with my soul.

Outings 25/7/09

2009-07-25T21:15:00.000-07:00

STILLLL , the same.

1. Sushi King.. ( not that much of tea this time)
2. Snooker center. ( Lol, 5-0, win win. Extra thing. The position of the view is really troublesome.
3. Cheese Cake~~
4. Red box~~~ ( good , sing until both also no voice..)

fren :" Hey , there will be a big misunderstanding if this picture is posted online... Send to me^^"
me :" Swt "
fren :" If i post it online, i will list there , me and my sis! "
me :" Why must you make fun of me?"
fren :" Okay ba, i put there me and my Bro"
me :" That sounds better.."
fren :" Okay , done! "
me :" There will be a big misunderstanding if this picture is posted online.."

Hahahahahahaha..........

5. Send her to KTM...

--END--

P.S : Can't post the picture yet, next week maybe ^^

Green, Grass of Home~

2009-07-17T08:31:00.001-07:00

Wthell... lolx. It is thursday. Again , water shortage at our hostel...... SWT.

Looking for water , walked around the whole college area. We found it. Our BOSS' room, Mr David. Great. 5 of us, rushing upstair and went into his room like little kids once he opened the door.

Chat with him, all kinda stuff. Forgetting about taking a bath ( cause he have a big water tank in his block )..

I went into the room and realize there is a nice shining guitar placed beside his bed.

" David, you play guitar? "
" Yes, I can "
" Can you play now? Show off a bit. We wanna see you play."
"Alrite, come , lets go into the room."

David said his was getting old, and can't really remember all the notes and lyrics of the song. So he has to look at the music book while playing.

From the music he played.... the voice he sang... It shows to us all the age and years that passing by him. Time never stop.....
But still , without looking back, all of us.. singing along, happily, feeling there is nothing much to care at that moment, hoping tomorrow will be better.

The thinny voice of ours...
From David's room...
A soft famost old song...
A gang of 20+ plus kids and a 40+ man...

Haha... the "Dry" night is something different..

The old home town looks the same~
As I step down from the train~
And there to meet me is my mamma and my poppa~
Down the road I look, and there runs Mary~
Hair of gold and lips like cherries~
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home~

Yes, they'll all come to meet me, Arms areaching, smiling sweetly~
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home~

The old house is still standing,Though the paint is cracked and dry~
And there's that old oak tree, That I used to play on~
Down the lane I'll walk with my sweet Mary~
Hair of gold and lips like cherries~
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home~

Then I awake and look around me~
At the four gray walls that surround me~
And I realize .Yes I was only dreaming~
For there's a guard and a sad old padre~
Arm in arm we'll walk at daybreak~
Again I'll touch the green green grass of home~

Yes they'll all come to see me in the shade of that old oak tree~
As they lay me neath the green green grass of home~

Green, Green Grass of Home Tom Jones

The Starring Night~

2009-07-10T08:38:00.000-07:00

Just like every weekdays. Me and my friend, Ah Lee were walking for dinner at mamak. There was less vehicle on the road , which make the whole street and area looks quite. It was kinda windy... cool. I was thinking it might be a very good evening which i may have a wonderful mood for dinner.

After both of us had our dinner , chatting , we realize that there are so many star in the sky, totally clear and bright. I see the SCORPIO, shining bright top on the sky. I feel excited...
Blood boiling flowing within me.

It is like the SCORPIO sign giving me strength..

Seriously i get lucky that night. My eyes turned sharp... And there are a evil smile on my face.

I ran out again at 3.30 midnight to the little hill behind my college, loooking up to the sky, facing the SCORPIO sign..

Standing on the top of the hill with a cross post, closing my eyes.. Listen to the cool wind ; it seems like i can hear the voice of people singing , and the music of the opera~

Screaming out loud in my heart... Madness.

My soul was away for moment before i come back to my senses.

Water dropping down... Raining.. is all dark in the wood, i can even feel my own breath. It is cold... very cold...

The ultimate release, and now i was all in fear, walking slowly down the hill. I can't believe I am actually kinda enjoying the rain, at the same time hoping I never see anything unnecessary..

Alright, can't get to see anything in the sky anymore, went back to my hostel , everyone else slept , took my bath , took a 4 hours rest...

And from what crazy things i did, it is out of expectation , lose of my senses...
But sometime people should take a chances to do what they really wanted or feel like doing.
Without any second of delay , without any moment of considering , doing things which they don't even know what will it gonna be...

There is no point living life without taking few chances. Who knows life , may just more than being in life.

I love the night.

COMPLETE DOR!

2009-07-04T08:57:00.000-07:00

Finally complete!! haha. 3 little thingy , finally finished. Now just about the packing. ^^

Lolx, long time never do such things , hurt my own hand during the process.

Very happy , Very happy!!!!

Hope my friend will like it ^^

Against

2009-07-04T08:19:00.000-07:00

You know some people in the world is really weird. My best friend told me its normal. That many of them have many faces, and some of them don't even realize their own.

Lucky i were "trained" to be relax.. forget bout it... just be myself .... do my own stuff... lolx

It is really hard stuff, to hold and getting though it, even it looks easy when i put my smile on my face most the time.

Be cool. I done my part , they failed to do theirs'. All i would do is to see what will happen as time comes. ^^

Be strong.. No matter what is the challege, Before my life is Over, i will face it , i will take it up.
And finally realize , this is me , the true "me" .

Say :" cheese!! ^^

The Sorrow 25 june 2009....

2009-06-27T20:06:00.000-07:00

The day of the world is in sadness... for the lost of a man.. The KING of POP..

It was raining outside.. As a music composer, a crazy big fan, and a dancer.. Me and few of my friends; they are dancers too, look out to the rain fall.. silents..

Michael left us....

How can words describe the pain in our heart? How can words descride the terrible sadness of all human in the world had..

How can words descride a world top pop singer? How can words decride the KING...

How can he go....

Even if anyone say : " He will always be in our heart ."

But who really want him to be only in our heart?....

One of my friend cried......

We cried.......

Our idol.... The light that almost blind us when he is on stage... The rush and the fever he put on us... The LEGENG that no one else in the world can beat...

is gone.....

The world most GREAT concert... believe that everyone else was sitting in front of TV.... i was 8 years old..

The only dance which can counter gravity force. The Legendary Moon Walk.

The KING

A man that no human know not....The Legend hold for 40 years....

R.I.P

Our KING....

Michael Jackson

1958-2009

The Little "Drain""

2009-06-20T23:58:00.000-07:00

A lovely evening. As usual i was walking to the lake to look for sunset. TJ was jogging towards while me and Hao were collecting some small pieces of stones to throw at the lake.. ^^ just like kids....

Tj called both of us from far ... in a hurry. Me and Hao ran towards he as he was looking down to a drain... it was a little dog... black in colour, with a little green paint on one side of the eye, looks hungry.

Lucky Hao brought along some bread, feeding it. It was cute and playful , jumping around once we save it up from the water drain. We name it "Longkang"(drain) ... mean one.. Tj playing with it all the time, running up and down the hills... haha.

The sunset is here, and the cool wind blows... 3 of us , nope, i means 4 of us , included Longkang of course were looking at the sun.. relax... enjoying the best time in a day. Tasting the warm and harmony view. It sit nicely on the grass, looked like it understand and share how we feel. It is a male by the way.

Maybe it is thinking too.. something it wish to know or find out but it cant... something that it need to do to continue survive.. maybe it have to think what will happen the next minutes when we need to leave it.

Well, we love it, but the worst thing is we cant bring it back, cause we are living in hostel. As what we do, we bring it over to the small Indian village and leave it there , wish that if anyone one can take care of it. To get to the village, we need to go throught a wood bridge ; cause there was a Big drain serrounding the whole area.

Once we put it down , we start to walk.. run actually away from it. Guess it was a nitemare for it, it ran after us.. Without looking, it fell again into the big drain .. Wthell... it was drowning.. Without any delays i jump down to the drain, tried to reach it and throw it up to the ground. Tj and Hao try their best to pull me up, thats how big the drain is.

Fine..... i was all wet. Without any choices, 3 of us brought it all around the village to ask if anyone can take care of it.. Finally there is one, an old woman. She wanted Longkang.

3 of us walk back to our hostel as the sun is going down at the back of us. Feeling great. I dont even know why i jumped down to the river as me myself dont even know how to swim. But i guess everyone would have did the same thing.

Hao : " Wthell man, safe it up from small drain to big drain. hahaha , damn. "

Me : " Well , is alright. My arm still hurts."

Tj : " We were right, ia memang Longkang."

Hahahaha....

Outtings.

2009-06-13T21:12:00.000-07:00

Still the same.

1. Sushi King, warm tea, warm tea , still warm tea.

2. Going up , 8 ball pool. 3 : 1 . Never expect you will win. Since when i can play like that??? XD

3. Cheese cake! classic and berry + sparking juice. Share share lah.

4. Went Red-box. Sesak........ Yingness......... 2 ppl go redbox sing for 3hour plus, voice? pain....

5. Times up!

" Wanna go dinner together? "
" Nope thanks, find something to eat at home. "
" Fine then , accompany you for a while."
" I though you park your car at the floor as same as sushi king?"
" Ya, why? "
" Sushi king is at upstair..... sesak."
"@#$%%^%$&@#!"

-End-

The Spirit Lake.

2009-06-13T20:38:00.001-07:00

There is a lake near my college area at nilai, Pajam, they named it ( in chinese ) the spirit lake. The lake is beautiful , neutral, pure; with little insect and water livings. Me and few of my friends always go for a walk and take long rest at the lake after class hours. Collecting stones on the way to the lake, acting like children, throwing stones to express all emo. smile

The special thing about it , it have many stories, many history ( the villages told us ) , and a beautiful sunset. The sunset will be right at the middle of the lake (direction of view ); which means the lake is facing west. Well, this is my college. From my college to the lake... about.. 20 minit, took sweet time walking~

The sunset will be around 6.45 pm to 7. So if you are too early, go up to the little hill, relax and enjoy the windy evening. It is so NICE~~

Me and my friends enjoy the peaceful environment, chatting about all kinda stuff which we wished for advise or share.

Guys are Emo.. rite.

I am on the right. He is my friend T.J . A friendly malay guy in our class. Ah Hao, the cameraman behind us. lolx. Well , we are not the only group here, there are familys, brothers, friends, villages ; enjoying the peaceful lifestyle.

And finally , here comes the sunset. Beautiful... it seems like every unhappyiness, Emo, sadness has come to an end. Looking at it, feeling that tomorrow will be much better, much hopeful.

The lake is great. Guess it will become the resting point for us as long as we are at hostel. Cant wait for the next sunset. ^^

Baby dream..

2009-06-06T23:35:00.000-07:00

Anyone of you had crazy dreams? I had a lot XD Crazy~ totally .. But it happen so real , it is long , it seems like i have been inside it for days. I had it last night. Funny , i became a father. Have no idea who my wife is. dAMNN.. lolx

Once i get back to my house , lots of my friends were there , congrats me that i had became a dad. wth.... T.T do i seems that old. the best part is my parent called me to take good care of the baby. Well i guess is a "he" , he is cute. ^^

As i can recall , i brought him to the mall to have a walk , buy him food, brought him to the park , had a side seeing. I actually asked " who is you mum " ; the only thing he do is " Ba Ba."
@.@ """ swt..

The second day (in the dream) , i brought him together with my brothers for breakfast. They kept saying that my baby is cute , funny , fat , white. lolx. But at that time, i was affraid to ask my bro who actually is my wife. XD

Baby also got already , dont know who is the mother? god -___-""

Alright , i woke up finally , miss the baby , he is really cute, at least he never pee on my clothers. XD

So blur ... dunno what had happen. The moment i woke up , i dont even know wheater i am still inside the dream , or it was really a dream. ^^ Hope the baby i have in the future looks like him, kinda look like me XDD , Wish for that.

Feel kinda happy and excited when all my friends congrat me for becoming a dad~~

The One.

2009-06-06T09:24:00.000-07:00

Things happen , well of course it does. Yeah , it happens . What am i gonna do. The last thing i wanted is just the voice, the voice i hear almost everyday. I guess you don't mind. Sorry bout that.

Guess most of you dont get this post... it is private..XD sorry sorry.

I think i mean what i said , but before anything, i am still me myself. So relax. Still the same. ^^

When will you.

2009-05-29T07:20:00.000-07:00

The one midnight , i woke up , taking a walk downstairs. Living in the hostel at nilai , Pajam. Enjoying walk alone under the moonlight, feeling free and relax, everyone is resting, quite..... i love the mood.

Walking down to the garden, side seeing , realizing the flower , sepilok borneo, is so beautiful and attractive. I decided to walk to the center of the garden , laying down on the grass. Opened up my eyes slowly... I saw stars .. Bright enough to lighten up my face. It is stunning, and i never seen so much of them before.. I saw scorpio too.

There are light in the study room that available for 24seven at the 2nd floor. Few of my classmate were doing their revision for the resit paper tomorrow. They saw me of couse , a weird little guy laying down on the garden ; they smile ..

They walked down the staircase , walked near me , laying down too , just like i did, head to head. 7 boys , looking for their own horoscope in the sky. The night was so silent even we can hear the butterfly wind bit. We never chat , never make a single noise. It seems like they all forgotten about the exam tomorrow, putting the natural smilely on their face.

After bout 15 minutes... it seems like the time stop running.. butterfly stop bitting.. the cloud stop moving... We took a deep breath.. Here comes the wind ...

A great wind blowing through the whole Pajam area. All of us closed our eyes, enjoying the most relaxing time in our life... It is incredible... it seems like all of our depress , our happiness , tension , pressure, ideas and even soul had been bring away by the strong wind..

At that moment , we guys realize what if the real "Peace" .. the few second. We really found peace; at peace....

I really wished to bring along my lover , my friends , the one that is most important for me , to show them , what actually is peace... The harmony ... the most relaxing moment it should be.

Back to the hostel , starting to refresh about stuff and things happen before in life. When is the last time laying in the garden at night ..When is the last time you open your eyes, look up high watching the stars .. When is the last time looking deeply to the flowers in the garden .. When is the last time you hear butterfly wind bit.. When you having the most relaxing time in life... When will you get peace...

I realize whatever bu-shit stuff thats happened to me at my pass , or future.. I dont care no more. All i needed... is only few second of it... much better then anything else.

When will you . . . . . . . . . .

The Emotional Release at Star Hill

2009-05-24T02:56:00.000-07:00

Had a call todaY from my brother, bring me to star hill hanging out with my parents. I called my buddy Tommy to tag along.

We walked around Pavillion to StarHill. Went shopping , looking at different design of shop and restaurant, my parents like that. erm erm..

The DEWAR'S 12 ... classed...

Little start light~~ a road which holds my heart..

I love it~ as long as i am in the mall.. Its like my home...

relax....

The great music hall ... the singer sang great ..

The Twicgeling Bar... look closely , the bottle wall ~~ cool ha The Heienken Fury~~

In front of Jogoya... Emo also need to eat rite

Bro :" Hey! Stop poser ! we are late dumass! "

me :"#@$%^$%...."

As my parents enter Jogoyo, they told me all the wood made stuff in the restaurant is TEAK WOOD. It is the most expensive wood in the world. It can stand as long as 100 years without any damage and its waterproof.. the value as same as gold.. Wthell. it is stunning, just like the all thw wood i stand infront of, think i will take stupid poser photo like this har? It is all Teak Wood , 1 piece of it cost around 3 to 4 hundred. swt.........................

The best KING CRAB... sorry dude. You were my main course...

The Best Design of Themed Coffice house. Melaka style~~ The BUFORI ... It is a brand new car. oh god~ no time for emo, CAMERA!

Alrite, dats all , guess today was a relaxing and happy one. Enjoying the meal , the mall , the design , the atmosphere, the people , the car , and the mood. ^^'' The best part was... my mother when to LV shop to look at the hand-bags, try it of course...

mum :" This bag design is not nice , it is common and it get dirty easily. "

GUESS WAT... it is a LV white hand-bag cost RM6530.. -______- """" i never know my mum is so rich.....

With a stomach full of crab , unagi , cheese , food and coconut , "Hey khin, let go get the fruit with chocolate! last call ! haha! " Tommy eat non-stop XD , it is time to go home. Pack up all the stuff , i need to go back to hostel at nilai again, worst thing it is a monday. oh well...

Wonder if one day i can bring my other half to places like this.. enjoying the happiness and relaxing mood.. ^^ looking forward to it.

- END -

What will you do at the next turning.

2009-05-22T21:29:00.000-07:00

As i am a lonely kinda of person, honestly i dont have many friends. Some of them may think that i am a positive guy, and others , a guys who likes to Emo ; think too much maybe. From the last time i can recall, i am living in sadness, and maybe too much of it make me able to face or handle things much better.

People call me crazy, hanging-out all alone in the mall the whole day watching 3 movie in cinema straight. Having my breakfast , lunch and dinner, Going home~~.
" I dont understand what he is thinking."
" Who care , he is full of shit.." well.. of cause you dont..

Right. I am a 100% Emo guy.

Not until i have a few friends in my life, currently.. With them , I realize things can be better, learning how to be happy , to smile. To hold up to the happiness and easy life, I do take up the friendship seriously, treating everyone nicely without thinking of myself. Cause what i need is just be with them, it is all i needed.

Yet when time goes on.. I realize I cant really hold up to something forever. Selfishness is not allowed. Each of them have their own life, dreams to aim big. As a good friend, I did actually support them. Me, i will support whatever they do is right.. as long as i live.

So finally, i am coming back to the original point again. I am all alone.

I used to smoke, Marborllo is my favorite. I was in the street, walking with no reason and out of sudden , a old man appear in front of me asking me for a cigarette.

" You look so down youngone. "
"yeah.. Life is full of sadness and loneliness yet i am here to stand most of it... sometimes i wonder if i am able to delete some of the memories of my."
"Well , you wounldnt want to, even if you can."
"yeah.. 1 more ciragette?"
"Sure. I guess you really are dat lonely youngone, we do really chat even i am a old strainer and asking people for ciragette."
"we have no differents do we? we are both walking in the street for no reason. Wonder how you are able to stand the loneliness for so long? "

" Hahaha, you never watch movie? there is a say [ AFTER TODAY THERE IS TOMORROW] . All you need to do , is relax. Treat yourself better , just relax. ha ha ha.."

relax?.... relax...

Relax, just relax.. I have been telling myself, telling my friends , telling anyone or everyone who has or facing problems. It is useful , relax, tomorrow is coming.

I wish everything is going to be fine. One day i start wishing to see what willl i become in the future 6 years. As now , i am doing automotive engineering, thought that everything is going to be fun.... But out of sudden.. disappointed stuff happened... sadness never actually leave me. That night , i am in hostel feeling as cold as ever.

And now , i start to blur myself without asking why am i Emo, why am i sad , why my heart is feeling weird , feeling pain. Tried to relax, but my heart is like.. filled with Cola. I promised my friends not to smoke and drink again. I am putting hope on them , hoping they are good and worth . But things happen to pain me, show that i actually dont know them, and need to re-understand them all over again; they are not what i expect all these time.

Yet.. maybe some of them will say that i am an idiot, i am still supporting them to do what it is right, as long as they are happy. And for me, will carry on like this alone... i dont mind, when i miss someone, all i do is smile..

So , an artical is being post in my automotive college, being like this....

( If you are in a car race. The split time between you and your opponent is just 1.3 seconds. Your car advantage is its top speed. But every time once you reach 120 km/h there is a 80 degree turning forcing you to break. And everytime you thought you are going to catch up, end up the split time get more after each turning.

And you are the driver , in life as in the race.. Things happened to be disappointed in a sudden after you gave hope. What will you do at the next turning? ...................................................................................................................................................................
.................................................................................................

From : ONG KAR KHIN. )